Number One's and Two's

Some Chocolate Chip Treasures:

I have found that some of the best cookies I’ve tasted will have chocolate chips; however getting the perfect consistency of the cookie is tricky. Life is very much like this where there are good and bad parts of life, but when you focus on the melted chocolate goodness, you can find the real treasures.

Living with a toddler is a constant roller coaster ride of emotions. They have those frustrating take-a-deep-breath (or more) moments. They have those oh-my-goodness-WHAT-did-you-do episodes?! They have epic meltdowns and tantrums. They swing from wanting complete independence to dramatically needing help. They know how to sing a midst a disaster zone or troubling time. They can bring a smile to your soul with their simple but profound statements.

Toddlers see the world in such beautiful ways and very openly and innocently "tell it how it is". I would like to share with you, our family's many milestones through S's eyes.

Milestone 1: Number One Child vs. Number Two Child
These days, I often hear S say "No, no, NO, SA" or "that's MINE!" Other times I will hear, "Mom, help-help!" and see SA has tackled S and she is sprawled on top victoriously. Yes, the sibling rivalry has begun and MY nearly 9 month old SA can hold her own.

She certainly knows how to play the "little sister card" too. I have witnessed on many occasions, SA stealing a toy or an object of S's and then he reclaims his toy or possession back. SA will then give a specific little "Mom/Dad, I'm hurt" wail. If picked up and comforted, she gives a little gloating smile. If not comforted, she goes and tries to push S down. Oh my goodness. Where do kids learn these things?

Apart from the squabbling, I often hear S say to SA fondly "You are trouble missy." And that is my cue to come running to see what SA has done. SA is very curious about her world. She pulls apart everything and gets into anything. She knows how to tear apart the couch and eat the stuffing. (I'm sorry I did not have the extra mind to take a picture of that particular moment) She knows how to reach under doors and grab items to eat--whether it is food or shoes or clean diapers or trash out of the trash can. She takes baby proofing to a whole new level. She even has a "naughty" face.


Milestone 2: Number One's and Two's successfully in...
After many slow weeks of toddler-led progress, we are now day time potty trained! YAY!
I won't bore you with details--apart from that boys can do "doo-doos" and number two's like no other--but I will say that I am one proud mommy.

Milestone 3: Mommy, you're number...
So there is a strong love-hate relationship between Thomas the Tank Engine and me. For a half hour each day, S will intently watch an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine. That off course, is my one sacred uninterrupted mommy/cleaning time. However, that song haunts me throughout the day. I wake up, I hear the theme song. I close my eyes at night, and I hear the theme song. I am washing dishes and I find myself humming the theme song: "Thomas you're my number one..."

Well now S has taken to singing "Thomas you're my number one" through out the day. One day, I asked him, what number am I? He stopped and thought seriously:

"Hmmm, mommy, you're my number two. Thomas is number one."

Oh, good to know. Very good to know where I rank right? ;)
But before you gasp in horror, I will let you know that number two is a very high ranking. When S's dad asked what number he is, S answered "Number six." (Sometimes A* gets promoted to #3--if he's lucky.)

I must be doing something right as a mom in S's life. :)

And a Kiss...

I would like to leave you with a quick thought on perspective. As we have reached the potty trained milestone, S has suddenly wanted to do everything by himself--ABSOLUTELY no mom help. I watch him struggle to figure out how to pull on his pants or put on his shoes. I see his frustration and failed attempts. I want to rush in, fix the problem, and make it all better. But I know it is so important for S's development to become confident in autonomous actions and learning how to do things for himself. If I intervene with such necessary development, I will do more harm. However, when S asks for my help, I answer and we both are happy.

It dawned on me that I too am the "child" in life. There are so many moments where I have struggled and felt like I struggled alone. I wanted to know why. I wanted the problem taken away right then. Or sometimes, I knew what should be done but I wanted to do it "my" way. Now I can kind of understand how our Father in Heaven feels. It is not abandonment but an act of love when He allows us to learn through trials and struggles. Through adversities and challenges, we become wiser and stronger.

How wonderful it is to know that He respects our gift of agency, but is lovingly watching and waiting for us to turn to Him for help. He is always nearby to "swoop in" if the trial or challenge becomes too overwhelming to bare.

How wonderful it is to know that we are all number one's in His book.

Joyfully Living and this Blog's Purpose

Nowadays, everyone has something to say--whether good or bad. Plato once said

 "Wise men speak because they have to something to say; 

Fools because they have to say something."

For the longest time, I have debated about publishing this blog. I don't think I am wise, but I feel like I can add some sunshine to the world. I want to write to give others' hope. I want to share the many life lessons that I am learning as I mature through adulthood and motherhood.

As a stay-at-home mother, I have struggled to find peace at home and peace within as I have tried to personally define success and my worth. For the longest time, success meant:

• the number of "A's" as a student throughout high school and college
• graduating top of my high school class
• earning a 4 year nursing degree
• the number of hours worked and money earned 
• a title: the Head Health Director over a small facility for elderly and mentally delayed adults 
• a position of great responsibility: psychiatric nurse caring for 70 some adolescent patients
• the academic and medical achievements of my husband
• the number of tasks I accomplished on my long to-do list
• the number of projects I have completed
• the amount of compliments from others

All these external influences would define my success and worth in the world. It took me awhile, but I have learned that success and joy come through hard work and growth. Being a mother of a 2.5 year old boy ("S") and an 8 month old girl ("SA") have been the the most difficult and rewarding opportunities in my life.


I was reading an article titled "The Plan of Happiness" where the author discussed the joys of marriage and children. He describes the journey of love from the young romantic flirtations and  commitment to the maturing love of endurance with one's partner through trials to finally the completed love of the coming of children. He also comments that he once read that "two essential ingredients to a successful marriage are a cookie and a kiss."

Thus the title for this blog blossomed. I am not a masterful cook or a seasoned expert on love and parenthood, but I do know that the art of success is what you do with the ingredients given to you. It is the process that makes you wise. 

My children make me laugh. My children can make me cry. Sometimes my children cry and cry and cry, but with just one kiss, I can make them smile. 

So for me now, success is a cookie and a kiss. I hope to share with you my metaphorical "cookies" and "kisses" to help add some happiness into your life.

 XOXO

Referenced:
"The Plan of Happiness" by President Boyd K. Packer, April 2015,
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-plan-of-happiness?lang=eng